Prompt One- What is one example of “small stuff” that you let get to you recently? Small things that bother me never really end up going away. It creates a snowball effect in the back of my mind and keeps me thinking about it for a long time. An example of something small that definitely has gotten to me recently is almost any type of small, snarky remark or insult. Most of the time, when they bother me it is because I’m either not having the best day or I am just fed up with the person who said it. But I need to learn that the little comments people make are just insensitive towards me and that most of the time people don’t think before they say something. If I just focus on my well-being and stay positive and confident in myself, I know that it will have a stronger effect on me than the small, negative comments.
Chapter 2- Make Peace With Imperfection
Prompt Two- How does your ‘ego’ distract you? Ask yourself how these emotions affect your self-esteem.
Fitting in, even from a young age, has always been something that I wanted to be good at. Being the class clown, being the most popular girl, or just having everybody like you is a good feeling right? Sometimes you have to ask yourself, am I changing for me or for somebody else? And is that change beneficial to me? I often compare myself to other people and lose sight of what really makes me happy or what satisfies me. But making myself realize that I am good enough while being original needs to become a priority for me. I always want to look like someone else or have what someone else has. But, in reality, I need to cherish the person I am and be grateful for the things I have.
Chapter 3- Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't Be Superachievers
Prompt Three- Analyze the Quote Thoughts: “When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to get back to others.”
This quote is a great wake-up call for me because, as I wrote in Prompt Two, I always want something other than what I have and I never seem to be satisfied with what I’ve got. So if I am content with what I have, I won’t want to keep pushing to have more and more. When I become content with myself, I will not be as selfish as I once was. Thus, I will have more time and energy to devote to achieving my goals and keeping myself focused. I will take the initiative to change my perspective on how I live my life and work towards becoming a better person who is leading a healthy, content lifestyle.
Chapter 4- Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking
Prompt Four- Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
When I am having a hard time and I feel like I have no control over something that is happening, my mind and body react to this in different ways. I begin to overthink and get stressed out over things that really don’t matter as much as I make them out to be. I start to get frustrated if I don’t overcome the problem with ease or if it stays in the back of my mind distracting me from anything and everything. My body begins to tense up and my temper gets short. I lose all patience I had and start to obsess over what I am thinking about and never seem to let go of it. Learning to not let things snowball up in my brain will benefit my physical and mental health.
Chapter 5- Develop Your Compassion
Prompt Five- Can you recall a time when you made something "big" and dramatic when in reality it was "small" and not that big of a deal?
This may seem a little silly but normally if my parents don’t let me hang out with my friends, I turn it into this huge deal when really it is so small and meaningless that I should just let it go. If I ask my mom if I can hang and she straight up says no, I wonder why she jumped straight to no without considering it first. If she doesn’t budge I begin to get angry with her and stop talking or brush her off when she tries to talk with me. Yes, I get it, it is a really childish and dumb way to react to a “no”. But this is just a prime example of me turning something small into this huge deal when really I need to chill out.
Chapter 6- Remind Yourself That When You Die, Your "In Basket" Won't Be Empty
Prompt Six- What does your 'in basket' look like? And will it be there tomorrow....?
My ‘to do’ list or “in basket” consists of multiple things. I always want to improve and become the best version of myself because isn’t that what everyone wants? I’ve always just wanted to have a time in my life where I have nothing to worry about. No assignments, no family issues, no fake friends. But even if I ever end up achieving all of these things, I will never really be satisfied with what I have. My ‘to do’ list will always be never-ending because I will always end up wanting more and more than what I truly have.
Chapter 7- Don't Interrupt Others or Finish THeir Sentences
Prompt Seven- Do you think that you are a strong listener or could use some work?
I think that I would say I’m a pretty good listener and I love to help out my friends whenever they need to vent to me. Depending on what the topic is, I find myself immersed in helping others and solving their problems for them. But when it comes to something that I’m not really interested in, I lose interest in listening to what people are talking about and go on my phone or distract myself. So I guess that in some ways I could use some work in listening to people all of the time and not just when I want to listen to them. I should give everyone time and if I want them to listen to me when it is my turn to talk, I should return the favor when they’re talking.
Chapter 8- Do Something Nice for Someone Else- and Don't Tell Anyone About It
Prompt Eight- Recall a time that you have given, did you expect acknowledgement?
When Morty gave Dillan and I our first big Leadership assignment, I knew we had to pull through with something that would make her proud of us. I knew we would talk about how our assignment went one final time in our last session of class. But I did not expect to receive such an outpour of support, and I guess you could say hype, over how good everyone thought the assignment was. Morty was very pleased with us and I could not keep the smile from creeping up on my face. I never realized how supportive this leadership family is and I really appreciate it. I didn’t expect as much acknowledgement as we received but it boosted my confidence and made me feel like my position is appreciated and validated.
Chapter 9- Let Others Have the Glory
Prompt Nine- Have you experienced someone else ‘stomping’ on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel? Yes, I have totally experienced someone else stomping on my story/glory. It made me feel honestly frustrated because it wasn’t the first time it had happened. Obviously this happens with all sorts of people but most of the time, it is girls that are self-absorbed that always make things about themselves. For example, I was trying to talk to some of my guy friends and be involved in the conversation and this girl kept tapping me on the shoulder trying to show me videos of herself or pictures that she took of herself. Being self-absorbed is the biggest pet peeve of mine so this is a good subject to voice my opinion on. The feeling of frustration when your concentration is broken or they try to distract you from what is going on around you is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. It mostly turns from frustration to anger really quickly because you just wish they’d leave you alone or just stop making things about them for once.
Chapter 10- Learn to Live in the Present Moment
Prompt Ten- What are some ways you work to stay in the present moment? Some ways that I work to stay in the present moment is for one not worrying so much about things that won’t matter within a day. Even from this book study I have gotten better about reading people’s behavior and learning how to balance my own in perspective to theirs. Another way that I work to stay in the present moment is by living every day as it’s my last. I always tell my mom, “I don’t wanna be stuck at home. I don’t get why you don’t let me hang out with my friends every single day.” I just want to live out on a limb and not think about yesterday but live in the today and prep and plan to make the future the best it can be.
Chapter 11- Imagine that Everyone Is Enlightened Except You
Prompt Eleven- Think of a time when you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught...what did you learn? One time when I was truly frustrated was when one of my family members had to get tested for the Coronavirus so my parents decided to make me stay home until the results came back negative. The thing that frustrated me the most was that I stayed home on Saturday since I had hung out with my friends all day Friday because I knew my mom wouldn’t want me hanging out two full days in a row. But then my mom decided to wait until Saturday night to tell me the news and that I couldn’t hang out with my friends for a week. She didn’t tell me until Saturday night because she didn’t want to deal with me sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself all Saturday. So instead of sulking all Saturday I sulked all Sunday and then my family member’s results came in negative and I could go out after only two days of house arrest. Now, looking back at it, I shouldn’t have been crying in my room about not being able to hang out. I realize now that people aren’t as fortunate as me and can’t even go out because they are so sick. I really only thought about myself and not the people around me that I could’ve infected if my family actually had the Coronavirus.
Chapter 12- Let Other Be "Right" Most of the Time
Prompt Twelve- Challenge: the next time you are in a discussion or argument, let the other person be right and take notice on the initial feeling that transpires. I ended up doing the challenge with my mom. I didn’t fight or argue just whenever she said something that I didn’t agree with, I just let her be right and moved on from the discussion. Some of the time when I let the other person be right I feel like I didn’t get to get my point across which really annoys me. But the feeling that transpires after letting someone else be right is normally not good for me. I don’t know if we’re supposed to feel good or not after but I feel like I just don’t get the satisfaction of getting my point across which kind of ruins the discussion for me.
Chapter 13- Become More Patient
Prompt Thirteen- Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize you are so very small in this vast world and really your 'drama' isn't that big a deal? I always get the “floating rock” mentality. I always think we are so small in this huge world and there are so many things going on in the world at one time. It really makes me worry less about whatever I am thinking about. So for instance if there was pointless drama throughout the day, I always just think really I argued with someone over that? Like we really had drama over something stupid when there are so many different and better things we could be doing right now. The world is so vast that problems that we think are huge are actually so minor in life.
Chapter 14- Create "Patience Practice Periods"
Prompt Fourteen- Do you have a "Mantra", a statement, that you make to yourself daily or weekly? Something that I would normally tell myself or other people is, “It’s not that deep”. I always say this to my friends or my mom because it’s kind of a snarky comment saying pretty much that they need to chill out. But if I’m saying it to myself, I’m mostly saying it to keep myself humbled. If something is bothering me I just take a deep breath and tell myself that it’s not as deep as I really believed it was.
Chapter 15- Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out
Prompt Fifteen- Have you lost a relationship because something "small" created a "big" divide?I did actually lose my best friend over a stupid argument and we didn’t talk for two months. We now have resolved our issues and are doing the best we’ve ever been. I think that when something small creates a big divide, the people involved are either strong enough to overcome the divide or too weak to overcome it. If the people are strong enough to overcome the issue then the friendship or relationship normally grows stronger because of it. But if the people involved are weak, the friendship or relationship could potentially break apart.
Chapter 16- Ask Yourself the Question, Will This Matter a Year from Now?
Prompt Sixteen- What do you hope to do a year from now? I hope to have a job a year from now and either have a car or work towards getting a car soon. This is what I want most a year from now because my biggest dream is to be able to buy a car with all of my own money. I think that if I get a job, I will understand the value of a dollar and hard work which can get me very far in life.
Chapter 17- Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn't Fair
Prompt Seventeen- Is life meant to be fair? What does that mean? I think that life is never going to be fair. The choices you make decide whether or not you will receive karma for your decisions. If you make poor decisions or your actions are ugly, life will not be fair to you because of those decisions you made. But if you are making the right decisions, there is no reason that life should be unfair to you. That is unless you get unlucky.
Chapter 18- Allow Yourself to Be Bored
Prompt Eighteen- Do you take the time to be bored? I feel like I am always chasing the next best thing. I never take a second to chill out or let my mind relax which is honestly probably really terrible for my mental health. Once Morty told us to take a five minute break to do absolutely nothing, I told myself there is no way I can do that. I am completely addicted to my phone because I feel like that’s just how Gen Z is. There are so many different social media to keep up with and that is what makes my phone so addicting. There is always something to do when I’m on my phone which is why I could probably be on my phone for hours and hours on end. But I do realize that I need to take time for myself and for my mind to relax.
Chapter 19- Lower Your Tolerance to Stress
Prompt Nineteen- Have you been taught to believe that high stress is a positive thing? I have never been taught to believe that high stress is a positive thing. For sure when I was younger, I always thought that if I was stressed that I was working hard enough. But if I ever told my mom that I was stressed, she would tell me to take a step back and breathe. I feel really blessed that I was never pushed to my limit in elementary school or sports because if I was pushed to the point where I was stressed out, I would have never gotten through school. I now understand more than ever that high stress is not a positive thing from my experiences in high school.
Chapter 20- Once a Week, Write a Heartfelt Letter
Prompt Twenty- When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude? I honestly don’t know when the last time was that I wrote a gratitude letter to someone. I think it was the activity that we did in Zoom school in leadership class. It was when we had to write a letter to someone as if we weren’t going to be alive the next day. I wrote my letter to Emma and Gabbi because we were going through a hard time in our friendship. We weren’t as close as we had been before. I pretty much told them in the letter that I appreciate them and how much I care about them. It was just a reminder that no matter what happens I will always be there for them. I got really emotional after writing the letter because I realized how important strong, genuine relationships mean to me. They are the most genuine friends I have which makes it so much more meaningful that I showed my gratitude for them.